How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
