I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You may now shotgun with the bride
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Congratulations! We have a period
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