I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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