Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I looked at my own cervix.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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