There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize