Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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