Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
