If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
