We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
