Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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