we're blogging at a bar
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize