You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
