I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
