Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize