If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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