try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
