just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize