nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
