At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Floor bacon is actually really good
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