What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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