Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
