I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
