I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just found a bag of teeth...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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