Kareoke will never be a sober sport
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
