I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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