would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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