have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize