Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
