sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
