Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
