We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
