i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Randomize