is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
