i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
