If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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