She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
be right there i have to get my cape
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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