at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
