What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
