West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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