dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
