i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize