Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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