I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
