then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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