The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
