By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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