HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
