What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
