Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
