You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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