All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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