Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
