we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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