when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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