Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
