Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
