She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
